People pleasing is simply the act of saying or doing anything and everything just to satisfy everybody. It is a deliberate act where a person go out of their way and against their own real intentions to make everyone around them happy by doing or saying whatever they want and like.
Against their own real intentions, convictions or desires, they yearn to please everyone they come across just to appear to be a good person. It does not matter how they really think or what they really want, they would say or do the opposite just to appear good to everyone.
Let’s face the reality, everyone is a people pleaser at some point and to some extent. We always try to appear as nice as possible to the next person that approaches us but when it becomes too much that we want to appear nice to everyone at all cost then that’s a problem. Below are reasons why;
1. More Hate Instead Of Love: You are trying to make everyone happy and doing just what they all want no matter what it takes or cost you. Hopefully they would all love you and see you as the good person among. However when everyone realizes you are pretending just to be called nice, they hate you the more. They feel they can’t get the truth out of you, you end up telling them what you feel they want to hear instead of the truth. So instead they begin to avoid you and that breeds more hate.
2. You Become Untrustworthy: No one can really get the truth of the matter from you, you play nice and try to be in the middle just to please all parties. Everyone is confused and don’t know how you really feel about things. They are not sure if you are actually comfortable doing what they have asked of you or not, so they begin to trust you, your words and your actions less and less until they disapprove of you completely.
3. You Appear Manipulative: Each time someone comes to you for something, you end up doing what you feel pleases them as against what they really needed. It continues that way and they eventually discover what they where looking for elsewhere, making them feel you have been using them all along. When two opposing sides have arguments and they come to you separately, you take sides with each individually and tell them what pleases their ears. Eventually they discover later and you become manipulative.
4. You Begin To Hate The Things You Used To Love: Let’s assume you are the type that loves cleaning and you do it with so much enthusiasm. Everyone sees so and begins to approach you to do it for them as against what you would have wanted to do at that moment. You oblige them because you do not want to say no to them in a bid to make them happy with you. In the end as you clean more and more against your actual will, you begin to hate cleaning.
5. You May Develop Mental Health Issues: As You struggle to please everyone and be on their good book, you do it against you own actual intentions, will and desires. You no longer do the things that makes you happy and fulfilled, instead you are dragging yourself to make everyone else happy. Slowly you begin to drain yourself of your own happiness and fulfillment, becoming more sad inside, wearing a happy and smiling face for all. You keep accumulating the sadness inside and consequently you may fall into depression and that becomes dangerous if left unattended.
6. You Forget The One Person Who Matters The Most: In your bid to be the best one among, doing everything and anything to make all to be happy with you and going out of your way for it, you forget the one person whose happiness matters the most, you. You are afraid of rejection and failure therefore you try to please everyone not realizing that ymou are failing and rejecting yourself which is actually the worst type of rejection, self rejection!